Bloggers provide a crucial service to the Great British Public – informing, entertaining, educating and instructing on a broader and wider range of topics than the mainstream media can cover – uncovering sleaze, debating policies and generally working tirelessly for the benefit of all.

And yet, despite our crucial work, are we not disgracefully undervalued? Most bloggers earn but a pittance from their tireless service – shamefully, more than 50% of bloggers have to take up second jobs in the time they’re not blogging, just to make ends meet!

In some cases, this can mean working up to 60-hour weeks.

Disgusting, isn’t it.

It can’t go on like this. Somebody must do something. And you know who, don’t you.

THE GOVERNMENT.

The GOVERNMENT should recognise the service we’re providing. We will be second class citizens no longer. Do they not understand the pressure we face? Have they ever tried to mix news and opinion with satire and humour, without leaving typos all over the place?

Do they not recognise how hard life can be for the humble blogger? Have they felt the agony of checking Google Analytics to find you’ve only had One Unique Visitor so far today1? The uncertainty of a brand new post with no comments on it? The horror of reading back a post only to discover a sentence which ends in a preposition? The pressure of Finding Something Interesting To Write Every Single DAY? The frustration of an inspiration you had in the shower but couldn’t remember when you got out? The terror of having to come up with a list of rhetorical questions to make your point?!

NO! They don’t!

Bloggers are being used by society and used by the government. We’re the unsung heroes of journalism, and we’ll show them what we’re worth.

STRIKE!

That’s right, guys. You heard me. We’re going on strike. No more blogging, any of you, until our demands are met.

Oh yeah. Demands. Ermm…

  • Mandatory living wage for all bloggers in recognition of the service they provide to the wider community.
  • All bloggers must be allowed at least two days off per week!
  • All bloggers must be given Lobby passes!
  • Free admission for all bloggers to political party conferences!
  • All computer equipment used for blogging, including smartphones and portable internet devices, to be made tax-deductible.
  • A PONY!

We’ll show them they can’t cope without us!

You watch, they’ll come crawling back when we’re not blogging anymore!

Who’s With Me!

(Strike action is, of course, entirely unrelated to the demands of the National Union of Teachers for four-day work weeks and a 10% pay rise. Totally different thing. Altogether.)

  1. Hi there! Please don’t leave! Stay! Have cake! Muffins? Tea? [↩]