In a hung Parliament, who exactly would the Lib Dems side with?

I know that the obvious response is “Why Should Anyone Care?” but if we’re going to navel-gaze about British politics (and we are, for a little while, at least) we might as well deign to include the fifth wheel that is the aptly-coloured Yellow Party1.

I ask because Ms Gore – who describes yours truly as ‘Not Yet Lib Dem’, a statement which seems accurate enough to me – was asking something similar about the Lib Dems in her desperate quest to single-handedly cajole the flailing fish off the rocks and back into the stream before it’s too late. She wanted to know if the Lib Dems should start voting tactically with the Tories to distance themselves from Labour (the answer is of course and emphatically YES) but I think what’s more interesting is what happens if they’re put in the position of dealing with a hung parliament.

Obviously, they shouldn’t side with anybody. When met with an enviable opportunity to have the casting vote in any major decision, the sensible choice would be to take it – and since the LDs are such towering intellectual powerhouses you’d expect them to recognise that. If the Conservatives were the largest party in a hung Parliament, the Lib Dems could even start making a great case for why people should vote for them over Labour, and in a second election could possibly push themselves into becoming Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition.

Wouldn’t that be a thought.

We all know that wouldn’t happen, though. Instead, the possibility of forming a barely significant piece of a serving Government would turn their head, they’d broker a deal to form an alliance with whichever party had the largest vote share in exchange for some meaningless concession, and they’d devalue themselves and their political objectives for a short term gain which will prove utterly futile.

Which is a shame, really, because most Lib Dems seem to be nice enough people at heart. If they spent a little less time doing utterly convincing impressions of Jay-Z – and of course reminding us how much more intelligent they are than everyone else – they might actually be able to achieve something with their lives.

  1. Any Lib Dems of a nervous disposition who may be reading: it’s OK, you can put down the inhaler. We’re all friends here. I figure you must have a sense of humour – otherwise, you’d join a proper Party… []