News hit last night that Work & Pensions Secretary James Purnell had resigned from the Cabinet and called on Gordon Brown to stand down.

And when I say news hit, I mean that Christmas was cancelled. At the end of a day of local and European elections, news reports which would normally chock-a-block filled with election speculation, exit polls and other mind-numbingly dull reports which I wouldn’t watch if you held a gun to my head, instead I was watching Iain Dale, ‘dressed for radio’1 on News 24 talking about how this time Brown’s really finished, how his position is now untenable.

The Tories are having a field day, too – they’ve been waiting for this day, the one where they can arrive on the TV and twist the knife round as far as it will go.

Hang on a minute, though.

His position is untenable. Where have I heard that phrase before? Oh, yes, it was exactly what was said about Jacqui Smith back two months ago when we found out her husband had been watching porn films on her expense account. It’s exactly what was said about Hazel Blears, and James Purnell, in the wake of the expenses scandal.

All three of these ministers, in other words, have gone from untenable positions right the way through to important resignations in but a few short months. All three of them would have made it back into Brown’s cabinet after a reshuffle. All of them jumped, without any serious expectation of being pushed.

The Labour Party don’t understand what an untenable position means. Gordon Brown wouldn’t know an untenable position if it stole his women and raped his cattle2. Gordon Brown’s position may be untenable, but thanks to the minutiae of Labour Party rules, there’s very little chance of a revolt actually being able to remove him unwillingly. Unlike with Thatcher and the Conservatives, Labour can’t simply trigger a leadership election against a sitting Prime Minister without fundamentally changing their own rules. The only way he’s going to leave the post of Prime Minister is if he accepts that somebody else would do a better job. We’re talking about Gordon Brown here. Do you really think that’s gong to happen?

Don’t get me wrong, if Gordon Brown resigns, that there will be worth a bottle of my rather delicious wedding day Champagne. I’ll happily dance a salsa on his political grave3. It would be a day I’d remember for many a happy year, make no mistake. But that Champagne isn’t on ice just yet.

Brown’s position is untenable? I’ll believe that when I see it.

  1. Incidentally, a description that, if I were the sort to have illusions of grandeur, I’d take credit for coining… [↩]
  2. Or something [↩]
  3. Mental note to self: book salsa classes. [↩]